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Hello honey, it is I, Vladimir, your boyfriend. Please look at my see-though plastic Euro vest that I'm wearing in dat photograph. Oh, and dat's my pal, Lewy, in da silver space vest. Let me tell you a little about myself. My name is Vladimir Puchenski. I was born in Romania in 1632. I have been a vampire for about three hundred and sixty years. Seriously. I was like 12 when I got bit. I like da ghoulaid, and I love to dance da locomotion. Can you see dee worm growing out of my finger? Dat green guy in da background is Frank N. Stein-Boltz. He is my fiend from the discount halloween bin at the University of Chicago bookstore, where we were bought on separate days in 2003. He is always falling apart and has serious digestive problems which can sometimes give him a little bit of a glib attitude or 'tude as it were. But I like him and so do most people. We like Gay I mean Jay Leno. He is so lame with his haircut it makes me laugh. Darling, look at me, let me hypnotize you wid my eyes.