ChewTube

Hi, this is Bart, I mean, hi, we just got back from Delaware. I am like very tired or whatever. It was fun or something. Chewy has some good pix to upload like tomorrow probably when he's not sleeping. We did a lot of swimming in the bay and ate cones from that place 10,001 flavors or 3 million 999 and something flavors or like 2002 flavors of soft serve? Whatever it's called. It doesn't matter cuz it's still like good. We ate cones from there two nights. They have this like free sprinkles bar where you can get rainbow, chocolate or whatever kind you want, like mini-lips or circus animals or blue and white dolphins. It's awesome! Mandy liked her peanut butter ripple cone. I like ate mine with caramel dip and kept going back to like roll it in sprinkles or whatever. I also went to Candy Kitchen like once twice a day to get uh chocolate covered pretzels, gummy coke bottles and salt water taffy. Yeah, oh and grape shake for the wookies. Summer is so fun in like Delaware or whatever cuz you can eat 'za and ice cream a lot and like whatever else you want and you can play skeeball and stuff which is like too fun it's like so fun there and you can swim in the ocean or the bay and splash around and like stomp on the sandbar and watch the birds. Yeah.

Here's me and Grape Ape right after Greg won him for me. Grape Ape is an older animal who was a counselor at Monkey Camp this year. He is very active in the younger monkeys' lives and is close with young Buzz, who is particularly interested in learning the old monkey ways. The two of them have been known to eat bugs.

Hey, this is Chewy. I am like sitting in the hot sun in my beach chair. Il fait trés chaud aujourd'hui. It's pretty cool cuz I get like less hot or whatever and less itchy from my mange. I like sitting in the like shade of the carrots, calendula and cucumbers, though the cucumbers are kinda uh pokey with spikes or something. Look how big that is!! C'est un grand concombre! Je le mangerai avec des pommes chips. Like sérieusement or whatever.

This is Bart. Hi. Yeah. Here are some pictures of me like trying to garden or whatever? I am not very like good or something because it doesn't involve nachos or whatever. Greg is like helping me. He's helping me. I wanted to grow a cookie tree in a little pot but nothing happened because I didn't water it and Chewy like kept feeding the plant crumbs or something. Chip crumbs and chip grease from his like, his like, ah, fur. Gross. He like has mange and has to like sit in a beach chair or whatever.

Click to view the animal ruling hierarchy in the animal court of law.

This is Tic Tac Shase, also known as Tico or Ticky. He likes yoga, is inseparable from his stuffed swan/"pill" (candy) dispenser, Lulu Baby, often thinks he has SIDS and has been credited as a scanimal pioneer, pictured.



Tic is pictured here with his brother, Tiny Nasty, who lives in Chicago. Tiny is a nice young monkey, though it has taken him quite a while to move beyond his chainball necklace attitude.



Here one sees Tico being woken up by his primary caregiver, Greg, with whom he lived immediately upon being rescued -- along with two of his brothers -- from the Frog Pond game at the Rehoboth Beach, Delaware boardwalk. Tic Tac sure does love to sleep!



Tic Tac is shown here with his brother, Shevy, a very fun monkey who lives with Aaron and Sarah in Boston. We try to get the brothers together a couple times a year at family gatherings, and we always have a great time.



Here, Aaron is pictured goofing around with Shevy and Tic Tac. You can see what a good time is had by all when the Shases get together.

Hello, it is I, Bat Farbercov. I got bit by a blood sucking mosquito and then I drank blood, I mean, strawberry sauce. You can just give me cookies, and I will not kill you. Ah, da heat! It's making my cake makeup run. I think I'll go to Starbuck's and like stick one of those gross scones on my fangs and then pour some of that hot cocoa sauce into my mouth. Then I will take da animal bus up Winooski to da Dairy Queen and get a mega-moolatte.

Sunny day in Wisconsin last year! It is good to have clogs and even better to have friends!
Pictured: Vladimir and Frank (nice scarf by the way)

This happy being is Paz. Paz Goldenrod Sunflower Friar. She has a high voice and a sweet smile that brings happiness to everyone she meets. She likes spacing out, playing among the wildflowers and hanging out with the other animals. We rescued her from a Rehoboth Beach, Delaware claw game during the summer of 2003. With grit and many quarters, my sister, Katy, managed to wrangle her away. Paz is a sweet blessing in all of our lives.

A message from Paz: "I like my troll necklace because my troll has rainbow hair. When I look around, I see rainbows through her hair and it makes me so happy that I just want to sing 'lalala.'"

Hello honey, it is I, Vladimir, your boyfriend. Please look at my see-though plastic Euro vest that I'm wearing in dat photograph. Oh, and dat's my pal, Lewy, in da silver space vest. Let me tell you a little about myself. My name is Vladimir Puchenski. I was born in Romania in 1632. I have been a vampire for about three hundred and sixty years. Seriously. I was like 12 when I got bit. I like da ghoulaid, and I love to dance da locomotion. Can you see dee worm growing out of my finger? Dat green guy in da background is Frank N. Stein-Boltz. He is my fiend from the discount halloween bin at the University of Chicago bookstore, where we were bought on separate days in 2003. He is always falling apart and has serious digestive problems which can sometimes give him a little bit of a glib attitude or 'tude as it were. But I like him and so do most people. We like Gay I mean Jay Leno. He is so lame with his haircut it makes me laugh. Darling, look at me, let me hypnotize you wid my eyes.

Good morning, it's Chewy. I am on my way to wookie camp but thought I'd make a quick like entry first.

These three lovely beasts are the wookies that live with us.
That's Chewy on the left in the space vest, followed by Christine, our new friend who Chewy first met at the local tanning salon, Body Le Bronze, in early 2005, and Chewy's brother, Lewy, on the right.
Wookies are by definition chipitarians, meaning they subsist on potato chips with the occasional fries or potato starch-based grape shake. They use their satchels as chip cases, as they must graze on chips all day.

Chewy first came to us many years ago as a gift from my brother. He is a happy guy who loves to dance (particularly the locomotion) and takes his role as community ponchip very seriously, a position to which he was elected by his peers. Whenever he is called upon to settle a dispute among the animals he is fair and just. He is good at math, hates spelling and has been known to get Ds in school.

Lewy meanwhile came to us from planet wookie direct and could speak very little English and even littler Animal when he got here. He will be repeating second grade this year, though he has made great progress and loves being reunited with his brother. Lewy is fairly reserved and often shy, but he loves playing games, teasing the vampires and hanging out with Buzz.

Christine is just about the happiest girl that I ever knew. She loves to wear her dayglow plush space vest and has acclimated well to her new life here at the parade since early spring when her mom won a fellowship to go back home and work on creating state-of-the-art fake tanning facilities for the government there. Christine loves to bake (potato starch only!) and is good friends with Paz.

Hi, this is Bart yeah this is Bart. Don't be like fooled or something by the uh like za in this like picture or whatever because I like za but uh what? I like love cookies. Could I like have some or something? What? Cookies? Cookies? Could I have like a cookie, like a chocolate chip cookie, with like a couple scoops of ice cream on it and then like another cookie on the top and like rolled in jimmies you know like sprinkles rainbow sprinkles and then you could like dunk the whole thing in hot fudge and roll it in butterfinger bites and pour a little caramel over the top and then squirt on some whipped cream and ooh maybe like a little sprinkle of m&ms on the top and then another layer of hot fudge and then a layer of oreos and then it would be so cool if you could like put like some like pudding dipping sauces on the side you know to like dip it in or whatever, yeah, and some extra cookies to eat up the pudding.

Around the pizza from the left that's Buzz, Bert and Bart.
Buzz is the baby of the family and can sometimes be a little bossy. He's in second grade and is known around town as the Prince of Pudding. He loves pudding the most, and he cannot get through a day without a butterscotch pudding injection, though he also enjoys cookies, ice cream and 'za. His favorite show is the Bachelor "when they move that bamboo mat full of roses." He loves monkey camp and eats a lot of bugs when he's there.

Bert is a total nerd who wears a lab coat and loves to conduct experiments on everyone, though he especially enjoys working on Greg and Chewy. He loves donuts, so much so that he is known as the Don of Donuts. His myriad hobbies include drawing blood, catching things in bottles, programming his space watch-phone and playing with acid. He also enjoys giving lectures on a variety of topics, and his favorite tv show is Plushywonder, a psychedelic space program that can be viewed at 8 pm eastern on the Animal Scifi channel.

Bart is our resident misfit, a total fly who sometimes gets a swat due to his boisterous, in-your-face antics and nearly constant begging which most often takes the form of the word "cookies" repeated over and over again. He loves cookies, and for this reason he is known as the King of Cookies. He also loves nachos, particularly nachos grandes, supremos or enormicos, and he enjoys going to the bowling alley, where they have the best nachos. His favorite drink is a milkshake, and his favorite tv show is Animal Millionaire, which by the way, is nothing like Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.

Finally, a place for you guys to see and hear about what's been happening at our house!
Welcome to the Animal Parade!!